that you are so devoted to
And the lack of sleep
that has so demoted you
You hope it will come since you want it bad enough
And your church that feels
more like a theater or marketplace
And you want to yield
to Jesus - become one of faith
but some of his story is not sad enough
And the thanksgiving
you were around for but you missed
And these trials of living
that don't go with what you wished
some say "that's how the Lord has planned it"
And the nights you're awake
trying so hard not to keep still
And the plans that you make
Are really of your own free will
or does some one have their hand in it?
And by the time you're ready
that you render your false alarm
And you know its petty
to think His love would come with harm
but that's been your experience with love
And you look out on creation
wishing science to disprove the lore
And as the earth ushers elation
you hope that there's something more
Is that just pressure from above?
And they say for your protection
you must get on his list
And despite your objections
you don't want to resist
Will this day of reckoning come?
And how do you alleve
such pressure on your chest
If you choose to believe
will you be a hypocrite like the rest
or is that how His beckoning is done?
And are they hypocrites
or is just that hard
And to live in the ways of Jesus
since that's not who we are
Are you rewarded for trying?
And when the meaning of sin
is more defined by place and year
And you don't want to believe in
or out of fear
Many are just afraid of dying.
And you don't fear hell
while others look to ensure their fate
And as if under a spell
His love they distort to hate
You've seen firsthand how this tears apart
And you don't know anymore
than the man of faith in life
Truth is that you both search for
how to achieve grace in life
and in heart
