Y'all Know What I'a Mean!

On a beautiful sunday morning I decide to procrastinate from doing my CDCs thus the blog post. For some reason since I have returned home I just can not get myself into a motivational routine. I'm unsure what the deal is.

Yesterday was a draining day. It was the first time I had the opportunity to go skiing when it was 82 degrees & sunny. You would sweat in a long sleeve shirt up the chair lift but then you would fly down the mountain and get the breeze to cool you off, rinse and repeat. It was awesome. Plus it was due to my military stanind it was free. Then we went to the Silverada Casino in Reno to have lunch. All three of us were in our service dress so we looked sharp and got a lot of attention which was nice. I still feel that the whole "a woman loves a man in uniform" is complete bullshit. I know I have never gotten a second look or a smile from women when I have been in my blues. I think that rumour was created by military men who thought they were God's gift to women or something.(I know that I know alot of men like that) We had a good lunch at the casino and then we went to the wrong funeral home so we barely made our funeral (or should I say the funeral that we had to do) @ 3:00. Then we visited this ultra nice house of family that was friends of one of the guys I was with. They were real good people. Finally we departed Reno NV to go on some exploration detours on the way back. It was a good day but a long day.

After a day like that all one would want to do is go home and crash you know? But Audrey ended up calling - need I say more!!!???!!! - just kidding. She was exactly what I needed to round off my day. We had a real nice conversation like we usually do but this was a little extra. Most people want to be embraced by their loved one after a day like I had but such a thing can not happen do to the geographical situation Audrey and I are currently in. However last night reaffirmed that with the way she treats me and I treat her that we can still give each other the sense of comfort that we are side by side.

So off to force myself to do my CDCs a.k.a. HOMEWORK!!!! So in the words of my friend Bri Wilson the Texan "Y'all know what I'a mean!"

Roots

Lake Auburn, this picture definitely doesn't do it justice

Typical Sophie Schwinn smile; bold & dazzling

I look at this picture & it reminds me why I crossed the continent!

To me this house has alot of character

Chestnut Feild, the house is up in the back.

A doctor wouldn't diagnose me with straight homesickness but more with roots digestion. Yeah that is really cryptic and doesn't make much sense but it will if you let me explain it to you.

After going home as I did and seeing what was there in exemplum Audrey, Mom, Dad, people, peeps, Easter bunnies, 58 Winter St, the Old Port, Tabers et cetera I now have a greater sense of what home is. A connection has been made. Before the visit home to the 04210 zip code, Beale AFB was the only home my mind could come to. The two locations are so different that I could not make any sort of comparison or connection. However now that I have revisited my roots it is hard to come to terms with the fact that Auburn ME & Beale AFB CA can coexist in the same reality. I am happy to be back & sad to leave but it is how life needs to be since it is how life is.

I miss Audrey when it comes down to it though. It seems that my relationship with the Schwinn twins (Audrey & Sophie) is one where issues can not be resolved until after I have exited the same region of the country they are in. When I ventured west to Beale in December it was not until I was out here that Audrey and I were able to figure out our feelings for each other. Then Sophie and I had not spoken much with each other as much as I would have liked to and then when I returned east we worked things out a little bit but we didn't come full circle until she called me lastnight when I came back here. Those girls...sending me back forth.

P.S. If you knew how awesome the two of them are you would most definitely travel transcontinental numerous times just to have a cool conversation with them. Now those are some Roots.

Aren't You Jealous?

My Mother's awesome kitchen & daycare room.

Ain't She Somethin'?

58 Winter St. Auburn ME...from the backyard of course

Our downstairs living room. Beers cracked open, Red Sox on the TV, pretty girls smiling at you...aaahhh Easter Sunday

Audrey & I on our first of many dates!!! We went to the theater.

So I Didn't Lose My Luggage but I Did Find Some Love that I Knew was There

I knew I loved her before I went to her. There had been times that it had almost slipped out over the phone but I held it back like a good Jockey restrains it's horse that thirsts to run wild and natural. My mother was a jockey in her younger days and she instilled in me the concept of timing. Timing can be crucial to every great story; if the plot's turning point is too sudden than the story will seem heartless whereas if the turning point is long coming the story seems more drawn out. In the Kentucky Derby-isk race that is love & life it is a definitive fact that I held back my mustang until the pivotal moment of execution and when I did allow it to burst forth, it's confession of love was of course honest but most importantly natural. In the race that is love & life there can be no hesitation nor pressure. For if hesitation exists or there is unnatural pressure to advance than one will in fact fall behind allowing the spoils to go to another victor. There existed no unnatural pressure, no hesitation in my voice and no wavering in the tone of my face.

The overhanging New England stars, covered by the threshold of her garage with the gleam off of the lake in our eyes I proclaimed my love for her and what'd ya know- she loves me too!

P.S. My time with her has been the water shed off my life up to this point. Call me if you want more details.

P.S.S. I didn't lose my luggage I just thought that it was cool in the airport and all.

I Lost My Luggage...

...and they told me to search for it with the rest of these people!

Good Will Hunting

I'm off to see about a girl

the Prize that Fuels the Thirst

Adventures? Many of us feel that adventures are for the rugged six packed individuals born into great timing, natural fist fighting skills and intellectual smarts to outwit any Hollywood based plot to take over the world. Some mild mannered citizens go out and buy a hat fashioning after Indiana Jones(some buy the whip fashioning after Indiana Jones too...kinky but hey at least they are adventurous) just so they can mentally place their self esteem in a Hollywood action scene.

Okay...Okay...Issue people!!!!

We earn the money to buy the hats, study to get the smarts, train to get the fighting skills, and if we are really blessed we get the six pack abs. Why is it that we overlook what really makes an adventure. The word itself spawns ideas of childish quests and epic tales that all can relate to. However we must disregard the adventures that have populated throughout our psyches. Adventure is exploration; when we explore a new way to work, have a conversation with someone who is new & different, play hide and go seek and scope out a room with a lion some witchcraft and a wardrobe that is when you go on an adventure. A lot of times, one does not end up with the girl in the end or with the nemesis behind bars or with the adventure ending in perfect timing thus allowing you to walk off into the sunset. Shit just doesn't work out that way.

Few have been able to venture from their new home returning to an old home to explore that which is the ultimate adventure; the relationship. Screw the fountain of youth, walking on the moon, journeying to the center of the earth, the holy grail, goblet of fire whatever, it is love that warrants the thrill seekers and no one else. Whether it be love between a man & a woman, parent & child, friend & friend, friend & foe this is the prize that fuels our thirsts.

I have recognized what an adventure truly is. In less than 24 hours I am off an an adventure of a lifetime. Although I lack the six pack abs and have flab, I need to get a watch for my timing, I bruise easily, and I am not the smartest guy on the block atleast in my adventure I get the pretty girl in the end.

Oh & just for clarification - (I have been doing so much of this lately) that pretty girl that I get in the end of my adventure is Audrey Schwinn. Just wanted to make sure every one was on the same page here.

At least there are still places in this world to skate

Quattuor dies erumpebo

I am so excited I am ready to burst. Burst I tell you!!!!!

Inflation is Still Occurring but I Found a Stride

So last night was tough, as many of you can see from my previous post that I hadn't been in the best state the past few days. Last night after my post I was just relaxing when my good friend Brittany Delaney from my trip to Great Britain IM'd me. An IM from someone such as herself was exactly what I needed. We hadn't really talked since I had came to California and it was nice to catch up even though a lot was the same with her whereas a lot was new with me. Just to know that I had a friend all the way across the way(across the continent that is) that wanted to know how I was doing was a refreshing umbrella in the rainstorm of my recent days.

After Britt and I's conversation on AIM, restlessness still overcame me and I decided to hit the sac early and start fresh next morning. Of course my bed was unable to get comfortable thus leaving me tossing and turning for a good hour until all of a sudden I heard a voice patented in heaven say..."Maxx pick up the phone it's Audrey." My phone is so awesome that I am able to set a special voice recording as a caller ID ringer for certain people so whenever Audrey calls me I have her voice telling me to pick up. It sounds stupid and weird but it is really something great. To end my rambling we talked for about 29 minutes and it was the Rx the doctor ordered since I have been unable to speak with her for about 4 days. She made things much better & all who read this have someone in their life who has the same power so don't roll your eyes and say 'Maxx is so stupid"

But a little bit of a hook to the face was when Audrey told me that due to a mandatory appointment she would be unable to be at the bus station with my mother to pick me up. We will be able to see each other later that morning but I am still pissed about this since now I have to cancel the white doves that were going to fly out from under the bus, cancel the string orchestra and opera singer and photographers. Just kidding there wasn't going to be any of that but I was imagining this Hollywood Romance reunion with her. But since the classic Soldier(in my case Airmen) getting off the bus from war to reunite with his distant sweetheart won't be able to work I am going to have to watch some Turner Classic Movies to get some other romantic reunion ideas.

Send me some reunion ideas, I'm looking for romance - tears, chocolates, flowers, horns, blue skies smiling at me, kisses in a downpour and little red corvettes. I need suggestions people!!!!

The Balloon will Pop in 7 Days

I'm just down. Not that the glass is half empty but things have been gloomy lately. I don't consider myself a complainer but I have been to 3 funerals in 5 days( a few for anyone) for honor guard, broken my normal routine of work, it has rained literally everyday all day for the past week+, I'm really anxious to go see Audrey and home, there is little $ to spare(frankly my head is barely at surface level but I need to go home to figure things out), Verizon Wireless keeps giving me the run around, I have a CDC exam on Sunday, I feel fat & look fat, can barely run anymore, I can't talk to Audrey even though she is really the only person that can make things better for me. Events are ballooning.

My first week in Honor Gaurd is gone and done with. The people on my team are warm, generous and impressive in how they carry themselves. One of the things that prompted the past few days to make me feel like crap was one day we didn't have any ceremonies so everyone was going to eat Chinese & see a movie. I really didn't want to go spend money since I am in miser mode for the vacation in 7 days. Anyways they asked me why I wasn't going and I played off that I had errands to run and CDCs to study for but finally one member took me aside and asked me why I didn't want to go and being a frank Maxx I explained that I am saving for vacation and didn't want to spend money. He said that he would pay for me no problem which I had a major objection to since I barely know him and it would be strange for even a close friend to pick up the tab for me. Most of you know this about me. Well I went and had uneasy feelings about it from the get go, and I was going to pay my way but they already had covered me for lunch and then I was for sure going to buy my own movie ticket but another member beat me to it. Not that I don't accept other people's generosity, it just bothered because I have a job to support myself thus to pay for expenses like movies and lunch. My self worth just plummeted and there is still not much left, of course I am sure it will go up in time but right now it is dwindling here. Since then events have just ballooned into things that they should not be.

My best hopes will be that the balloon will continue to inflate and pop in an explosion of joy the minute I step off the bus in Lewiston ME and Audrey Schwinn is in my arms.

Oh and 14 Day to Go

Although my goal is to tone up so I actually look like I exercise as much as I do it is so difficult with the awesome food that exists on planet earth. In Exemplum Cobblestone Creamery...oh my lord, the Mojo Mud Pie, peanut butter gallore amazing. It thoroughly rocked my world. After experiencing a rush like the Mojo Mud Pie I don't even know why I have to have sex now because I will just be disappointed. Just kidding but it was tasty. Plus the Japanese restaurant the Gullivers, Vance Stokes, Rob's cousin Christine and I went to last night was pretty good too. Really small portions on the lobster but delicious nonetheless.

Monday will be my first day of Honor Guard so that will be exciting. I have wanted to do it since before basic training. While at basic I was sitting in a room waiting for a briefing and on the wall there were posters and pictures of honor guard. Admiring the discipline, bearing, sharpness, devotion and respect that these guards represented it seemed like something I would really want to do. Now it is finally happening. More will be posted as it comes.

Strange Notion & Thought - Coincidences, are they coincidences or are we simply too naive to accept the bigger picture whatever the picture may be? Yes I know, this notion is cryptic and...Egyptian but aren't coincidences just that minus the Egyptian when you start to examine them? Feedback people, feedback!