Terminal Leave Adventures

Les and I at Homewood w/ Lake Tahoe in the background

Clay Konas is the friend to have

Lesley at the ocean

So I am on terminal leave, I have spent my time - 

1. Exploring my faith and relationship with God

2. Spending time with Lesley who happens to by what some would call my girlfriend. We do not use this term though since we feel it is very 6th grade-ish.

3. Studying for Human Anatomy & Medical Terminology

4. Riding my bicycle

5. Getting licensed as an Emergency Medical Technician

6. Growing a beard

7. Thinking about thinking about getting a job

8. Coming in 2nd place at the TBF mountain bike race in Granite Bay CA.

Delivery of the Newborn scheduled for Tuesday @ 1300hrs

so I'm out of the air force on Tuesday the 13th at 1300hrs. I'm scared shitless. I once saw a mother pick up her newborn baby right after delivery and despite the elation that was on her face she looked petrified on what she was about to do - that is take responsibility for her actions, be the grown up, do her best and raise a child. I feel the same fear.

A new parent knows that they have made the right decision to have the baby but raising it, following through with the decision is the hard part. I am confident in my decision to leave the active duty air force for other things it is the following through with my goals that is scary. A new parent knows that despite however hard they try the kid is gonna be messed up in some way and a portion of those issues will be directly due to the parent's child rearing. There is no doubt that in my pursuit of happiness I will be screwing up royally along the way. The tough thing about raising kids and following dreams is that most of the time you don't know that you've taken a wrong turn until you are lost; you don't know that you've messed up until it is too late.

So be it though, I can not be talking like that. In my life after the air force I feel as if I will be the parent and the newborn. As a newborn I will be learning how to exist as a civilian in the world around me, in the beginning I will just try to survive. I will try to learn as much as I possibly can. As a parent I will be doing my best to help the newborn thrive in its new life as a civilian. Despite the mistakes that I will make I will love and cherish the newborn freedom and life I have chosen to have.

My hope is that this metaphor makes sense. My final note is that I'm scared shitless but am wholeheartedly content upon my decision. 

The Multifaceted Golden Rule

"...I may repeat 'Do as you would be done by' till I am black in the face, but I cannot really carry it out till I love my neighbor as myself: and I cannot learn to love my neighbor as myself till I learn to live in God: and I cannot learn to love God except by learning to obey Him. And so, as I warned you, we are driven on to something more inward-driven on from social matters to religious matters. For the longest way round is the shortest way home." - C.S. Lewis

As a child I sat during church service and I remember when the pastor explained for the first time to me the Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." It was the first time in my recollection that I connected with a sermon. This saying, this scripture, Matthew 7:12, spoke to me. My mother raised me to use this frame of thinking in living my life and in my relationships.

I never thought of this rule as multifaceted until recently. I thought I was doing okay, trying to do the selfless acts, attempting to be the most genuine person I can. I tried to do what I felt was best for the situation. However, there are people in my life who I perceive as being much more honest, genuine and fulfilled than I am and I wondered how did they do it. All of these people had God as the most active thing in their lives. I distinctly remember the pastor saying in church that if I followed the Golden Rule than I would be "okay" in life. However, I agree with Lewis in that I cannot love my neighbor as myself until I learn to do as God wishes me to do. 

God gives you a clearer way on how to do right. By following the direction God has laid for me I will not only be truer to him but truer to myself: I will therefore have greater precision in choosing what is best for me and with God's help mirror this behavior to others so that they follow in His will.