Delivery of the Newborn scheduled for Tuesday @ 1300hrs

so I'm out of the air force on Tuesday the 13th at 1300hrs. I'm scared shitless. I once saw a mother pick up her newborn baby right after delivery and despite the elation that was on her face she looked petrified on what she was about to do - that is take responsibility for her actions, be the grown up, do her best and raise a child. I feel the same fear.

A new parent knows that they have made the right decision to have the baby but raising it, following through with the decision is the hard part. I am confident in my decision to leave the active duty air force for other things it is the following through with my goals that is scary. A new parent knows that despite however hard they try the kid is gonna be messed up in some way and a portion of those issues will be directly due to the parent's child rearing. There is no doubt that in my pursuit of happiness I will be screwing up royally along the way. The tough thing about raising kids and following dreams is that most of the time you don't know that you've taken a wrong turn until you are lost; you don't know that you've messed up until it is too late.

So be it though, I can not be talking like that. In my life after the air force I feel as if I will be the parent and the newborn. As a newborn I will be learning how to exist as a civilian in the world around me, in the beginning I will just try to survive. I will try to learn as much as I possibly can. As a parent I will be doing my best to help the newborn thrive in its new life as a civilian. Despite the mistakes that I will make I will love and cherish the newborn freedom and life I have chosen to have.

My hope is that this metaphor makes sense. My final note is that I'm scared shitless but am wholeheartedly content upon my decision.